Back off of NANCY GRACE

               
       

Toni Medrano, a 29 year old alcoholic, committed suicide by dowsing herself with a flammable fluid and setting herself on fire one month after being dubbed “Vodka Mom” by Nancy Grace.  According to the Daily Mail, the young mother consumed an entire fifth of vodka, then fell asleep and suffocated her 3 week old son Adrian.  It wasn’t until 10:30 am the next morning, when she saw that Adrian was cold and purple, did she realize she had killed her newborn son.

Initially Ms. Medrano faced 2 counts of manslaughter. One charge was for “Culpable negligence creating unreasonable risk,” and a second for “Committing or attempting to commit a violation.” If convicted on both counts she could have faced up to10 years in prison.

The tragic story of newborn Adrian’s asphyxia was featured on the Nancy Grace’s syndicated talk show. On the show Nancy reveals that Ms. Medrano consumed the equivalent of 17 shots of vodka and that her alcohol level was .11.  A doctor on the show further revealed that little Adrian had probably been dead for hours due to the purple coloring in his skin, which is a sign that his blood had been pooling in his body.  Which means that his blood was unable to circulate because of the amount of force on his body. This in and of itself caused this poor child an immeasurable amount of pain on top of the pain of suffocation.

Outraged by the sheer neglect of this infant child, Nancy pointed out that Ms. Medrano had a history of alcohol abuse and had been cited with two Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) offenses. She then adamantly called for Ms. Medrano to be charged with Murder One, which is a charge of premeditated murder.  Although I don’t agree with Ms. Medrano being charged with Murder One, I don’t see anything wrong or inappropriate with the actions of Nancy Grace.  As angry as some people have been because Nancy called out Ms. Medrano on her actions and responsibilities as a parent, where was this anger at the horrific loss of an innocent child?

I strongly don’t believe Nancy Grace said anything that any person with some semblance of rational thought wasn’t thinking. It's tragic on all accounts, but that woman should have thought about the possible consequences when she “boozed it up” and fell asleep with her 3 week old on the couch. Where was the child’s crib?  If she couldn’t afford a crib, then she could have put him in a drawer, but she didn’t need to have him on the couch with her when she decided to “get her drink on.”  With that being said, she didn't deserve to set herself on fire and die in the manner she did, but I'm sure being suffocated and crushed is no walk in the park either. Little Adrian should have been her number one priority. Period. She may have been distraught after the fact, but that doesn't bring her son back and killing herself only exacerbates the issues her other children will have in the future.

There are some that are calling for Nancy Grace’s resignation.  Others are calling for the boycott of CNN and even Dancing with the Stars; at which I find absolutely ridiculous. What if Ms. Medrano had she been drinking and got into a car and killed someone other than her own child?  What if that child had been some else’s 3 week old? I bet those that defend her would probably have a difference of opinion. Is it because she killed her own child that she should somehow warrant public compassion? Before she took her first drink shouldn’t she have had the rationalization to put her newborn in his crib?  How about, “common sense”?  I understand that some people may not have “good sense,” but most people have “common sense.”

Alcoholism is a disease as is drug addiction, “yadda, yadda, yadda.” Let it affect you, your body, and your own circumstances. On the other hand, when you kill innocent people based on a "choice," get ready for the consequences. It would have been entirely different if the killing were completely accidental or unavoidable.  Had Ms. Medrano been sober when the accident happened we’re be talking about a different scenario with a different set of empathetic circumstances; but she wasn’t. She was “fu@k#d up!” She was so out of her mind that she laid on top of her child for hours before she realized she had killed him. It’s tragic on all accounts, but she gets no sympathy from me. 

I can’t understand how people can get so angry at Nancy Grace, but not so much at the fact that an innocent child is no longer here and the remaining children are motherless because Ms. Medrano made the decision to make two selfish choices. It's not Nancy Grace's fault that the mother had no integrity and would rather dowse herself with fire than face ridicule, a lifetime of remorse and possible jail time. At least she had choices. What choice did the little Adrian have?

If we’re going to get angry at anything, let’s get angry at mothers who make irrational choices at the expenses of their children.  Let’s get angry at fathers who emotionally detach themselves from the responsibility of nurturing their families. Let’s get angry at everyone who continuously chooses and abuses mind altering substances while their household are left to fend or defend for themselves.  Let’s just get seriously angry at unavoidable caustic choices that wreck havoc on our communities!

This woman does not get a pass because she was emotionally weak or a person of color.  Nor does she get a pass because of the horrific way she chose to end her life. I’m tired of all the cookie cutter excuses of being down trodden and drenched in poverty.  Everyone is going through issues.  The economy is horrible; people are losing their jobs, seeing the entire savings being wiped out and their homes being foreclosed.  If your actions are hurting your family and it is within your grasp to make a choice to choose a new direction, then do it!  No more excuses. Period! You don’t have money for rehab? So what!  The rehab facility in your area is filled to capacity?  So what!  The rehab facility recommends that you stay for 3 months? So what!  You do what you need to do to get yourself right for your kids. Period! That’s what a parent is supposed to do and it the right of every child to expect and be entitled to that commitment.  If you make a choice to bring a child into the world, then make a choice to be the best example possible. Period!

What Ms. Medrano did was wrong and I don’t blame Nancy Grace for getting angry.  Some may say that it was all for ratings.  Others may say exploitation.  Still, others may say she was just being a mean, old, belligerent Bi*#h.  I don’t care.  I may not necessarily agree with all her tactics, but for the most part I think she was right on point.

RIP Adrian

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

   

 

Failure Is Not An Option

We’re living in a tough economy.  Everywhere we look people are struggling with their current financial situations.  Many have or are in the process of losing their homes through foreclosures.  The financial institutions that caused this crisis in the first place, are having no mercy on American families.  People have given up hope and some are contemplating what they believe is the inevitable.  For some the inevitable means downsizing from a larger space to a much smaller one.  For others it may mean moving back home with parents or friends.  Yet for others who see no mode of clarity through the clouds and fogginess of their circumstances, it may mean something worst or God forbid, much more sinister.  Before you even begin to examine what the inevitable means to you, tell yourself, whisper if you have to, that “Failure is not an option.”  Say that phrase over and over again, even if you don’t believe it!  Tell yourself that failure is not an option.

I use to look at failure as a loss.  That somehow if I failed at something I put time into, I was a failure.  I’m talented, smart, paid my way through college and basically done everything right in order to achieve the American dream.  What was I doing wrong?  Why wasn’t I getting ahead in the game of life?  And the most pressing question, what was wrong with me?  Then a voice from deep within, I call it God you may call it something else, said, “Nothing.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  Continue to passionately follow your dreams, help others along the way and diligently learn from your mistakes.”

What I didn’t realize was that failure is part of the journey of success.  Successful people fail all the time at their attempted endeavors.  It’s part of the process of learning and without it there’s no intellectual development or personal growth. Therefore, I decided that what I needed to change was my attitude and outlook on where my aspirations fit within this global economy.

One area of life I had to honestly look at was; how was I committed to refurbishing my dreams into reality?  What were the processes I was willing to go through in order to create a comfortable life for myself doing the things I felt creatively passionate about?  Most importantly, how was I preparing to make that happen when the steps I had been taking weren’t working?  Then that same voice said, “Take different steps.  It’s never too late to change direction in order to get a clearer vision.”

We have to start looking at our lives and the way we conduct our business differently.  Our world is changing and the corporate structure by which we do business and become employed is gone.  No longer are the times when you could work at a company for 25 or 30 years and retire with a gold watch, celebrated commemoration, and a full pension.  Today corporations are merging and constantly downsizing.  They’re combining several fulltime jobs into one.  Many of these same corporations are shipping jobs overseas and not because it’s cheaper so their businesses can stay afloat, but because they want to enjoy larger profit margins.  They are squeezing American workers and won’t be satisfied until there is blood in the streets, because in the end, that also creates larger profits.

What can we do when we’re so stressed from the daily grind of living?  What can we do when we realize that these companies we work for, that we give our hearts to, don’t give a damn about our well being and could care even less about our future?  Give up? Go postal?  No, we develop an entrepreneurial spirit.

In today’s economy corporations and other entities are in the business of squeezing as much productivity out of you as humanly possible, and when you burn out, they’ve already created an environment that allows them to push you aside and hire the next person in line desperate enough to take your place.  Now, more than ever before, is the time to figure out ways to turn your passions and skills into viable sources of income and multiple streams of revenue.  Even if you’re currently working at a job you love and are passionate about, start thinking of ways you can turn those skills into income, even if it’s part time.  Within today’s technological arena, you can realistically build an empire right from your own home, doing the things you love and offering those skills and/or services to others.

Maybe you work as a security guard.  Take those skills that you’ve learned and figure out how they can become profitable for you.  Maybe you can blog about the daily woes of being an unappreciated, undervalued and underpaid security guard. Maybe you can start a security guard training center. Maybe you don’t even like security, but gardening is your passion.  Use security to fund your livelihood while writing about your different gardening technique and methods.  There are people who will pay for your common expertise.  Be open to figuring out ways of turning your passion into profits because when you do, your entire reality will expand and you will begin to live without failures, but with triumphs.

Now is the time to turn your dreams into reality.  Others are actualizing theirs everyday.  The only difference between them and you is that they made the decision that they could. So can you.  Decide for yourself that failure is not an option.  Then go out into the world more enlightened and better prepared to challenge yourself into becoming the best you possible. You’re not dead, so it’s never too late!