Wednesday, September 5, 2012

8 Core Principles You OWE Your Children


Some parents might have a hard time with the concept of owe.  They feel that by using the word “owe,” it has the potential to bring with it expectations and obligations.  They contemplate that no one wants to feel obligated nor do they want the added pressure of their children expecting too much.  However, the reality is; that it the right of your child to expect and deserve the very best in what you have to give.

Most children see themselves as a mini extension of their parents.  If you expect the best in yourself, then they will strive to achieve the best in themselves.  Words are symbols that mean something. By obligating yourself to the word, owe you are committing to giving to your child all that you are, and will be, forever.

Wanting the best doesn’t mean that when your child graduates from high school you go into debt buying him/her a Porsche.  It doesn’t mean that your child comes to you with a list of demands in order to make life less complicated.  It’s simply a method in which you pledge to make a conscious effort to the protection, well being and stability of yourself and your family.

Because words are symbols used to direct our mind’s focus, we want to put into our consciousness the strongest symbols possible. Owe conjures up a strong characterization.  It’s an implication that there’s an unpaid balance that you share with your kids.  It’s a balance that’s always outstanding, sometimes overdrawn, at any moment frustrating, but never depleted.  It’s something you continue to graciously pay, even if from afar, knowing that its positive influence is the greatest reward.


BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

There’s an old saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”  Whoever created that statement must have never been constantly called anything derogatory.  Words are very powerful and often can cause drastic emotional injury to a child’s fragile self esteem. That’s why parents have an obligation to choose words and phrases that will be beneficial to the healthy development of their children’s blossoming self image.

Most responsible parents would never intentionally degrade their children.  In spite of that, even asking questions like; “What’s wrong with you?”  “Are you out of your mind?”  Or “Why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill?” can be emotionally damaging and cause serious psychological injury to a small child’s fragile ego.  Along those same lines phrases like; “You are driving me crazy!”  “You are getting on my last nerves,” (How many times have you heard that?!) “I’m about to knock you into the middle of next week,” as well as, “You make me sick!” are also emotionally damaging and should be avoided. 

Building self esteem means never being insulting, negative, swearing at, or calling disparaging names.  It means to never be overly critical, find ways of encouragement and opportunities to uplift your children’s spirits in every circumstance.

Keep in mind that damaging a child’s self esteem takes years of aggression, so don’t beat yourself up for the occasional slip up.  That’s normal.  As long as you remember that words hurt and that caution and caring are necessary in order to raise positive self assured human beings.

TIME

Children have no concept of time although it is one of the most valuable commodities of life.  They may, on some level, grasp that it last forever, but somehow they often inadequately equate it to themselves.  As adults, we realize that time is important, it must be respected, and that we must make use of every moment we have for as long as we have it.

We don’t have long on this Earth to contribute to our well being and solidify our purpose.  However, while we are here, it is our obligation to use our time wisely and focus on our goals.  Parents need to teach their kids that they are not invulnerable and they won’t live forever.  Therefore it is important to maximize all the time they have towards developing their talents and striving for their goals.

Many parents have a myriad of ways of surviving in this drastic economy.  Often they are too tired to spend time with their kids after work.  Remember, your children are your first priority and it is your responsibility to muster up the energy and spend precious moments nurturing them.  They’ll understand that you’re tired.  They’ll also subconsciously understand how important they are to you and how you’ve prioritized their needs over your own.

Time is about making every effort to be at parent conferences, football games, recitals, Science Fairs, Boys and Girls Scout meetings, speeches, birthdays and anything else that reflects your child’s development.  If you don’t take the time to show them how important they are in your life, then they will grow up thinking life is not important.

Time is also essential in the morning.  Kids need a healthy start.  That means a good breakfast to start their day.  This is very difficult for most families because of varying schedules.  However, maybe a Monday, Wednesday, Friday commitment where the family gets up and eats breakfast together is fathomable.  Maybe two days out the week like Monday and Friday.  That gives kids something to look forward to.  It also starts and ends their school week.


SOCIAL EVENTS

It is eminently important for parents to attend the social events of their children. Children need to feel supported.  It is part of the unpaid balance you owe.  Your presence should be felt in all aspect of their lives and when you make them a main concern they’re going to be compelled to believe in you and have faith and trust that you have their best interest at heart.

VACATIONS

Vacations leave lasting impressions and are often remembered for a lifetime.  Try to take at least one family vacation a year, preferably one that involves the outdoors.  When children are outdoors, nature’s delicate balance has a serene effect on them.

Being one with nature is also extremely settling.  Nature and all its enduring principles leaves a positive impression about the structure of life.  It reminds us that we are all connected to an infinite structure that’s always changing and growing, but never ceasing to discard any of its parts.  It’s constantly replenishing and regenerating.  Therefore it’s imperative that kids experience this phenomenon first hand and get a semblance of their place in the beautiful cycle of life.

Vacations don’t have to involve a lot of money.  Take a one or two day hiking or desert trip. Spend an entire day at the beach complete with a picnic lunch and dinner as well as plenty of games and other things to do. The most important thing is that you spend quality time with your children outside the home and away from the hustle and bustle of life.

RELIGION

Spirituality is a vital extension of our human experience.  Without spirituality there’s a complex void in one’s outlook and expression of existence.  Children need to be taught that there’s a greater force other than themselves and you.  (Yes, I said, “You!”) This doesn’t mean that you have to go to church every Saturday or Sunday, but it does mean that your family should have a habit or be taught a ritual of giving thanks to a greater power.  The good it causes to believe and have faith in a higher power far outweighs the bad.  It can create is a strong moral character and a belief that you are held accountable to something more significant than you.

MONEY

My grandmother once said, “The person that said money isn’t everything, never had any.”  Money is very important in the way we configurate our society.  It may not make you happy, but it will sure make you more financially secure.  On that note, teach your kids about Certificate of Deposits, Mutual Funds, Savings Bonds, and Real Estate.  If these are areas you are unfamiliar; then learn about them. (Libraries are free resources, so there’s no excuse.)

It’s imperative that children have a proper respect for money and its worth.  Money is power.  It does plenty to aid in the comforts of life and children need to understand its necessity in order to function properly in this society.  It must be understood, saved, invested and spent wisely.

An effective way of building proper respect for money is by giving children an allowance and by opening their first savings account.  This is a way of showing them the importance of saving for things they want or need.  It gets them away from the notion of instant gratification and aids in the understanding of patience and self reliance.  It’s going to take a long time to save for those sneakers that cost $125 if you’re only putting away $5 a week.  Yet once attained, they’ll have a better comprehension for budgeting as well as and appreciation for the items they purchased on their own.  (You better believe if they spent their own money, they’re going to value the product more.)

Make sure the examples you teach your children regarding money are beneficial. This means making an effort to keep you own finances in tact. (I know that’s hard in this current economy!) Try not to let your telephone get cut off.  Don’t have your child doing their homework to candle light because you didn’t pay the light bill and, by all means, try to avoid your child going to bed hungry because there was no budget for food.

Some of the previous issues may be unavoidable. On the other hand, try as best you can to set a strong foundation and some of those issues may become escapable or at the very least, short termed.

CREDIT

Just like money, credit is another area where children need to have a proper understanding and respect; especially before they go off to college.  Credit card companies prey on unsuspecting college students and if they aren’t knowledgeable they will graduate owing much more than school loans.

Credit is an important asset.  Not only can it be used to buy things of importance like an education, home or car, it can create financial independence.  There may be emergencies that arise where credit may play a significant role.  Therefore, it must be protected and taken seriously at all times; especially in communities of color.

CHARITY

Find opportunities where your family can be of community service.  Whether it’s beautifying your neighborhood or volunteering at a homeless shelter, find the opportunities to give back the blessings that are bestowed upon you.  Charitable contributions are meaningful, satisfying and rewarding to everyone involved.  It rears unselfishness and a compassionate disposition in kids.

There’s a biblical saying that states, “Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.” People who are unselfish have an increased fulfillment of life because they are making others happy. These types of people realize that what they do has a greater effect on everyone around them.  If you want happiness in your life, you have to give happiness to others. Charity is reciprocal.

Whatever it is that you want out of life, you have to give.  If you want to live large, you have to give large. It’s the law of the universe.  The most important thing is to be humble to the process and to point out when it is being applied so that your children learn to appreciate its grace and beauty.

Those are the 8 core principles that every parent owes their children.  They are non negotiable and essential in developing young people of character.  They are however, not the only principles, so if you feel I’ve left one out, leave it in the comment section of this post. 

As always, thanks for reading and spending some time with my artistry.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Back off of NANCY GRACE



               
       

Toni Medrano, a 29 year old alcoholic, committed suicide by dowsing herself with a flammable fluid and setting herself on fire one month after being dubbed “Vodka Mom” by Nancy Grace.  According to the Daily Mail, the young mother consumed an entire fifth of vodka, then fell asleep and suffocated her 3 week old son Adrian.  It wasn’t until 10:30 am the next morning, when she saw that Adrian was cold and purple, did she realize she had killed her newborn son.

Initially Ms. Medrano faced 2 counts of manslaughter. One charge was for “Culpable negligence creating unreasonable risk,” and a second for “Committing or attempting to commit a violation.” If convicted on both counts she could have faced up to10 years in prison.

The tragic story of newborn Adrian’s asphyxia was featured on the Nancy Grace’s syndicated talk show. On the show Nancy reveals that Ms. Medrano consumed the equivalent of 17 shots of vodka and that her alcohol level was .11.  A doctor on the show further revealed that little Adrian had probably been dead for hours due to the purple coloring in his skin, which is a sign that his blood had been pooling in his body.  Which means that his blood was unable to circulate because of the amount of force on his body. This in and of itself caused this poor child an immeasurable amount of pain on top of the pain of suffocation.

Outraged by the sheer neglect of this infant child, Nancy pointed out that Ms. Medrano had a history of alcohol abuse and had been cited with two Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) offenses. She then adamantly called for Ms. Medrano to be charged with Murder One, which is a charge of premeditated murder.  Although I don’t agree with Ms. Medrano being charged with Murder One, I don’t see anything wrong or inappropriate with the actions of Nancy Grace.  As angry as some people have been because Nancy called out Ms. Medrano on her actions and responsibilities as a parent, where was this anger at the horrific loss of an innocent child?

I strongly don’t believe Nancy Grace said anything that any person with some semblance of rational thought wasn’t thinking. It's tragic on all accounts, but that woman should have thought about the possible consequences when she “boozed it up” and fell asleep with her 3 week old on the couch. Where was the child’s crib?  If she couldn’t afford a crib, then she could have put him in a drawer, but she didn’t need to have him on the couch with her when she decided to “get her drink on.”  With that being said, she didn't deserve to set herself on fire and die in the manner she did, but I'm sure being suffocated and crushed is no walk in the park either. Little Adrian should have been her number one priority. Period. She may have been distraught after the fact, but that doesn't bring her son back and killing herself only exacerbates the issues her other children will have in the future.

There are some that are calling for Nancy Grace’s resignation.  Others are calling for the boycott of CNN and even Dancing with the Stars; at which I find absolutely ridiculous. What if Ms. Medrano had she been drinking and got into a car and killed someone other than her own child?  What if that child had been some else’s 3 week old? I bet those that defend her would probably have a difference of opinion. Is it because she killed her own child that she should somehow warrant public compassion? Before she took her first drink shouldn’t she have had the rationalization to put her newborn in his crib?  How about, “common sense”?  I understand that some people may not have “good sense,” but most people have “common sense.”

Alcoholism is a disease as is drug addiction, “yadda, yadda, yadda.” Let it affect you, your body, and your own circumstances. On the other hand, when you kill innocent people based on a "choice," get ready for the consequences. It would have been entirely different if the killing were completely accidental or unavoidable.  Had Ms. Medrano been sober when the accident happened we’re be talking about a different scenario with a different set of empathetic circumstances; but she wasn’t. She was “fu@k#d up!” She was so out of her mind that she laid on top of her child for hours before she realized she had killed him. It’s tragic on all accounts, but she gets no sympathy from me. 

I can’t understand how people can get so angry at Nancy Grace, but not so much at the fact that an innocent child is no longer here and the remaining children are motherless because Ms. Medrano made the decision to make two selfish choices. It's not Nancy Grace's fault that the mother had no integrity and would rather dowse herself with fire than face ridicule, a lifetime of remorse and possible jail time. At least she had choices. What choice did the little Adrian have?

If we’re going to get angry at anything, let’s get angry at mothers who make irrational choices at the expenses of their children.  Let’s get angry at fathers who emotionally detach themselves from the responsibility of nurturing their families. Let’s get angry at everyone who continuously chooses and abuses mind altering substances while their household are left to fend or defend for themselves.  Let’s just get seriously angry at unavoidable caustic choices that wreck havoc on our communities!

This woman does not get a pass because she was emotionally weak or a person of color.  Nor does she get a pass because of the horrific way she chose to end her life. I’m tired of all the cookie cutter excuses of being down trodden and drenched in poverty.  Everyone is going through issues.  The economy is horrible; people are losing their jobs, seeing the entire savings being wiped out and their homes being foreclosed.  If your actions are hurting your family and it is within your grasp to make a choice to choose a new direction, then do it!  No more excuses. Period! You don’t have money for rehab? So what!  The rehab facility in your area is filled to capacity?  So what!  The rehab facility recommends that you stay for 3 months? So what!  You do what you need to do to get yourself right for your kids. Period! That’s what a parent is supposed to do and it the right of every child to expect and be entitled to that commitment.  If you make a choice to bring a child into the world, then make a choice to be the best example possible. Period!

What Ms. Medrano did was wrong and I don’t blame Nancy Grace for getting angry.  Some may say that it was all for ratings.  Others may say exploitation.  Still, others may say she was just being a mean, old, belligerent Bi*#h.  I don’t care.  I may not necessarily agree with all her tactics, but for the most part I think she was right on point.

RIP Adrian



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
   
 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Failure Is Not An Option

We’re living in a tough economy.  Everywhere we look people are struggling with their current financial situations.  Many have or are in the process of losing their homes through foreclosures.  The financial institutions that caused this crisis in the first place, are having no mercy on American families.  People have given up hope and some are contemplating what they believe is the inevitable.  For some the inevitable means downsizing from a larger space to a much smaller one.  For others it may mean moving back home with parents or friends.  Yet for others who see no mode of clarity through the clouds and fogginess of their circumstances, it may mean something worst or God forbid, much more sinister.  Before you even begin to examine what the inevitable means to you, tell yourself, whisper if you have to, that “Failure is not an option.”  Say that phrase over and over again, even if you don’t believe it!  Tell yourself that failure is not an option.

I use to look at failure as a loss.  That somehow if I failed at something I put time into, I was a failure.  I’m talented, smart, paid my way through college and basically done everything right in order to achieve the American dream.  What was I doing wrong?  Why wasn’t I getting ahead in the game of life?  And the most pressing question, what was wrong with me?  Then a voice from deep within, I call it God you may call it something else, said, “Nothing.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  Continue to passionately follow your dreams, help others along the way and diligently learn from your mistakes.”

What I didn’t realize was that failure is part of the journey of success.  Successful people fail all the time at their attempted endeavors.  It’s part of the process of learning and without it there’s no intellectual development or personal growth. Therefore, I decided that what I needed to change was my attitude and outlook on where my aspirations fit within this global economy.

One area of life I had to honestly look at was; how was I committed to refurbishing my dreams into reality?  What were the processes I was willing to go through in order to create a comfortable life for myself doing the things I felt creatively passionate about?  Most importantly, how was I preparing to make that happen when the steps I had been taking weren’t working?  Then that same voice said, “Take different steps.  It’s never too late to change direction in order to get a clearer vision.”

We have to start looking at our lives and the way we conduct our business differently.  Our world is changing and the corporate structure by which we do business and become employed is gone.  No longer are the times when you could work at a company for 25 or 30 years and retire with a gold watch, celebrated commemoration, and a full pension.  Today corporations are merging and constantly downsizing.  They’re combining several fulltime jobs into one.  Many of these same corporations are shipping jobs overseas and not because it’s cheaper so their businesses can stay afloat, but because they want to enjoy larger profit margins.  They are squeezing American workers and won’t be satisfied until there is blood in the streets, because in the end, that also creates larger profits.

What can we do when we’re so stressed from the daily grind of living?  What can we do when we realize that these companies we work for, that we give our hearts to, don’t give a damn about our well being and could care even less about our future?  Give up? Go postal?  No, we develop an entrepreneurial spirit.

In today’s economy corporations and other entities are in the business of squeezing as much productivity out of you as humanly possible, and when you burn out, they’ve already created an environment that allows them to push you aside and hire the next person in line desperate enough to take your place.  Now, more than ever before, is the time to figure out ways to turn your passions and skills into viable sources of income and multiple streams of revenue.  Even if you’re currently working at a job you love and are passionate about, start thinking of ways you can turn those skills into income, even if it’s part time.  Within today’s technological arena, you can realistically build an empire right from your own home, doing the things you love and offering those skills and/or services to others.

Maybe you work as a security guard.  Take those skills that you’ve learned and figure out how they can become profitable for you.  Maybe you can blog about the daily woes of being an unappreciated, undervalued and underpaid security guard. Maybe you can start a security guard training center. Maybe you don’t even like security, but gardening is your passion.  Use security to fund your livelihood while writing about your different gardening technique and methods.  There are people who will pay for your common expertise.  Be open to figuring out ways of turning your passion into profits because when you do, your entire reality will expand and you will begin to live without failures, but with triumphs.

Now is the time to turn your dreams into reality.  Others are actualizing theirs everyday.  The only difference between them and you is that they made the decision that they could. So can you.  Decide for yourself that failure is not an option.  Then go out into the world more enlightened and better prepared to challenge yourself into becoming the best you possible. You’re not dead, so it’s never too late!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Audition

                                     
    (A HUMOROUS rant on auditioning in LA)


It used to be that I would go out for starring and guest starring parts all the time. I’d even book a few.  It was nice to star in a film or guest star on TV.  My characters had arcs. They were essential to the stories and I even built up a pretty good resume and demo reel.  Then all these out of work movie stars, who snubbed their noses at television 10 years ago, suddenly discovered its “lucricity.”  It was a way to keep their newer “filled” faces in the public, while maintaining a steady paycheck in order to continue the lifestyle of their movie stardom hay days. Not to mention singers and rappers, whose only acting talents are their “name,” who now suddenly find themselves cast in roles that should have gone to real actors.  (Side note; the public doesn’t care about names as much anymore. All they want is a well crafted story with talented craftsmen regardless of who they are.)  Now all of us…no name actors (I hate saying “no name” that sounds so defeatist…I have a name…just not one everybody knows…well my family knows, but they don’t count.  Unless they’re in the industry… and connected…and can give me a job…or open the door to a job…or at the very least…point me in one’s direction.  Then I guess they’d count…but mine can’t…so they don’t. Count, that is.) are subjected to auditioning for co-starring parts. 

A co-starring part is a role that has no real meaning except to move the story forward.  The, “He went thata way,” types of parts.  They’re nothing more than fillers for what’s really going on with or to the main characters. I know, “There’s no small parts, only small actors.” Yeah, well tell that crap to Denzel or Will, Brad, Tom or…Tom…not that I know them by their first names or am putting myself on their level…I could be on their level…if I had more parts or practice. And I’m not talking about classes or plays…in those lil theatres on that boulevard where men prance around in matted wigs wearing tight fitted clothing and barely able to walk in overstuffed worn down high heels. 

I remember doing lots of plays…for no money…no gratitude and no audiences. Trying to trick my mind into thinking I was really working on my craft. And student films, they’re the worst. They take all day…for no pay…with the promise of food…which is a huge plus…but it’s vegan and it taste like chalk…and you’re promised a copy for your reel…that you never receive and have to hunt them down and threatened to beat their ass before they finally get you a copy. 

I’m talking about a real role; that has a story line, and a budget.  Where the characters are loved or hated by the audience…and if it’s a guest starring one, it has the possibility to recur…and with great acting skills and an overwhelming response from the public…becomes a series regular!  Then you become the break out star and you’re credited with saving the entire production from possible extinction.  But no, I’m stuck auditioning for one or two liners. What the hell can you do with those? How do you prepare?  What kinds of characters can you create out of one or two lines?!  How many different ways can you say them or intentions can you have?  Sometimes I really believe they can be a detriment because you have no time to recover if you make a mistake.  There’s so much pressure to be perfect.  You’ve got to nail it and be “spot on” the first time out or you’ve shot yourself in the foot.

I remember I went in for a popular television series where I had one word, “Doctor!” What’s even more ridiculous is they had a pre audition where I had to read with just the casting director.  Then I was called back for the producers! Now, I don’t want to say that I didn’t put in the work, because I did.  I treated that audition like I was reading for the lead. But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t get past the absurdity of it all.  They could have cast an extra right on the set. Yet they held a huge casting session and saw lots of actors for one word! In my opinion that was just so the casting director could justify his role and responsibilities to the network.  It made absolutely no sense.

I booked that part though. I sure did! I think it was because I set the scene up, said the word, “Doctor,” and then bowed at the end like I had just performed on Broadway. Made em laugh. They saw how preposterous that shit was.  I got that money though and the subsequent residual checks.  A residual check; that’s what I call them type of parts, because they’re not really parts at all to me. They’re just residual checks and a credit on your resume; ways to pay some bills and keep it moving.  

Every blue moon I do get an audition for a one day guest starring part. Used to be anywhere from 5 to 8 days.  Even with SAG minimum, it was some good money back in the day. Now they’ve narrowed that down to one or two days in order to save all the big money for the stars. So, I get this big audition; 16 pages of sides.  Those are the pages from the script. I don’t know why they call them sides. Makes them sound like lunch or something.  Anyway, when my agent said there were 16 pages, I was like, “Yes! Finally something I can sink my teeth into!” So, I downloaded the sides and…okay, usually sides have a continuous amount of dialogue and directions.  This aids in continuity and preparation for the scene.  However, parts of the dialogue and directions in these particular pages have been crossed out with a thick black marker. Now, the first thing that goes through my mind is, “WTF!”  Why would they cross stuff out in big black marker?! Don’t they realize how much ink those X’s take up on my printer!  Then if that’s not bad enough, entire scenes have been skipped.  Somehow I’m supposed to spend my precious time making sense out of all this shit.  But I do it, because I’m a professional…and talented…and I love the competition of it all.  I’m perfect for this part and my mantra is, “He who makes sense out of all this crap…wins.” So, I put my cell phone on silence and turn off the TV.  I devote all of my time to the motivation, subtext, and to preparing the character to being a person in a place.

By the time I walked into that casting director’s office I was ready.  I’d connected every dot and I’d made every stupid unnecessary cross out make sense.  I was fully prepared to kill that audition when the first thing out the casting director’s mouth was, “We’re only going to read the first two pages.”  What…the fuck?!  You mean to tell me I spent all night cramming my brain full of unnecessary shit for nothing. Not to mention the time I put into making this piece crap make sense and you’re going to tell me we’re only reading the first two pages?! Oh, hell no! We’re reading all these motherfucken pages! Fuck that! Sit your ass back, get all them pages out, and let’s go! (Pause)  That’s what I wanted to say. That’s what went through my mind.  That was the subtext of the expression on my face.  However, all I said was, “Okay.”  Okay?  Okay?! No I didn’t just say, okay?! I couldn’t believe it, I just said, “Okay.”  I wanted to smack my own self in the mouth.

Then she asked if I had any questions.  Any questions?!  Hell yeah I got questions.  Like, why are you wasting our time?  When did you know you weren’t going to use all these goddamn pages?  Didn’t you think it would have been appropriate to call our agencies and let them know?  Do you even feel bad about this?  Do you know how much better I could have been if I only had two pages to study? Why are some you guys also talent managers?! Why are you teaching classes and workshops?!  I shouldn’t have to pay to get in front of you. It’s your job to discover me without me having to pay for it! And don’t you think it’s a conflict of interest that you’re represented by talent agencies?  In addition, what qualifies you to evaluate my greatness?! You’re just an out of work actor who couldn’t cut it!  (Pause) Damn...I’m losing it. (Pause) So, instead I just smiled and said, “No…no questions.” (Pause) Why did I smile?

I didn’t get the part, probably because of all the nonverbal communication contradictions that ran through my body.  On the other hand, instead of me just moving on, I go through the arduous task of trying to figure out why not. When in reality, who cares?  Whether I was too tall, too short, too dark, too light, my nose was too broad, my lips were too big, I didn’t have enough hair, I was too skinny, too fat, I looked like the neighborhood bully that used to beat you up, I look like your dad or uncle that use to…, your ex-husband that use to…, I was too talented, not talented enough, too sexy, not sexy enough, and everything in between.  The bottom line is, nobody bought what I was selling that day and my ego can’t handle it. Therefore I’m going to morph myself into what I believe the industry wants.  You want a thug; I’m going to give you that. You want college educated; I’m going to be that. You want sexy; I’m that. You want nerdy; I can be that too.  I’m going to walk into the room as the character. I’m going to walk into the room as myself, then transform into the character.  The only problem is; I don’t know who I am or who to believe anymore.

Do I believe my parents who say I’m wonderful because they don’t want to disappoint me? Do I believe my acting teacher who says I’m talented because she wants that continuous check? Do I believe my friends who don’t want to hurt my feelings or my spouse who loves me just as I am?  My sense of reality is becoming warped and I start sinking into a depression. Am I good enough? Am I a fraud?  Am I kidding myself into thinking I have real talent? Am I enough? Do I have anything of artistic value to contribute anywhere?

I find myself crying hysterically alone, cursing myself for making the decision to become an artist.  Wanting to stick my head in the oven, only to realize...that’s going to hurt!  On the verge of a complete emotional breakdown, I become fully aware and present in the moment. I can taste the saltiness of my tears.  That’s when I pick myself up and look at myself in the mirror. I'm a wreck, but somewhere deep in my mind this little voice says, "What does the contortion of my face look like?  How does the feeling I’m having show up in my body?  Is there anything I see that I can use in my art? Anything? Anything?"  Then the voice says, "Use all of it."  All of it? (Pause) Right, I can use all of it.  I can put this experience in my bag of tricks and hopefully replicate it again when needed.  That’s what an artist does, imitates life and makes it more interesting.  

My cell phone rings. It’s my agent. I have an audition tomorrow, for another co-starring part, but with the possibility to recur.  I read the description, it perfect for me. Time to brush myself off, get myself together, open my bag of tricks and start the insanity all over again.  I got bills to pay, a show to book, and an intrinsic talent that’s just been rehearsed, but being wasted alone in this room.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Clybourne Park is NOT a companion to A Raisin in the Sun

Clybourne Park is a Pulitzer and Tony award winning play by Bruce Norris written as a response to Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun.  Although I did not see the play when it was in Los Angeles, after watching the Tony Awards telecast, I enthusiastically took the liberty to read the manuscript.

I must say that I’m a huge fan of Lorraine Hansberry’s work and since Clybourne Park received such prestigious awards and accolades, I was extremely excited to read it.  The premise represented something new and fresh and I since it had been describe as "a powerful work whose memorable characters speak in witty and perceptive ways to America's sometimes toxic struggle with race and class consciousness," I was extremely interested to know the prospective of the White neighborhood and their intimate views regarding race and class.

In A Raisin in the Sun, Hansberry’s characters are rich and full of life.  They are so well developed that what they have to say is like food for the soul. Her words defined an entire generation of people who felt undervalued and demoralized, yet still aspired for the American dream. The play is so well crafted that it still has relevance today.

On the other hand while reading Clybourne Park, I found myself continuously throwing up my hands in sheer frustration at the lack of integrity to Hansberry’s masterpiece.  I understand that it’s two separate writers; however there is no substance in the story or its characters. What critics have deemed as wit is really just the author’s lack of creativity and subtext. The story is superficial and frankly as I continued reading the manuscript, I found myself becoming increasingly insulted at any type of association with A Raisin in the Sun.

The premise of the play is fascinating. Act I takes place, not as a prequel to (as advertised), but is taking place simultaneously to the actions in A Raisin in the Sun.  Mr. Lindner goes to the White family that sold their house to the Younger family and asked them to basically renege on their contract.  The play further states that the reasoning behind why the house was put on the market in the first place was because the White family’s son committed suicide in his room.  Therefore the family put the house on the market at a reduced rate. It’s insinuated that the only way the Black family could have afforded to purchase this house was because it was reduced. However, it doesn’t take into account that if the house were undervalued, then why didn’t another White family snap it up since it was in such a desirable neighborhood?  The writer also doesn’t take into account that historically, when the first Black family moved into an all White neighborhood, they usually paid more than what the house was worth. (It was only once “White flight” started to happen, were houses significantly reduced for quick sales.)

With that being said, I also take issue with the writing itself. It was so contrived and uncalculating.  Nobody cares about the origins of Neapolitan ice cream or what a person from a European city is called.  The dialogue all seemed to be unnecessary banter because the author couldn’t think of anything of real meaning to write about. I would even compare it to a vaudevillian routine reminiscent of Abbot and Costello without the humor, originality or resourcefulness.

I wanted this play to have some ingenuity. I wanted it to tell the perspective of a White community who sees their whole world crumble at the idea of being neighbors to a Black family.  I wanted to experience the absurdity and be uncomfortable at the notion of superiority and how that’s reflected in the lives of Whites during that time period. I wanted to be “a fly on the wall,” and listen to their most private thoughts.  Thoughts they only say amongst themselves. I wanted to know what their dreams were and how they were very similar to those of Blacks, yet very different.  I wanted the story to tell the truth. I wanted it to be gritty, honest and as poetic as A Raisin in the Sun. Again, I wanted it to tell the pure, unadulterated, underlining truth.

Yet, at the end of Act I, I didn’t care about any of the characters. I guess I should have cared about Rus and Bev’s loss of their son to suicide, but I didn’t.  The reasoning being, I didn’t know enough about them to care. The dialogue was written to be basically clever, so much so, that it lacked all the edibles needed to feed the imagination. Not only were the characters interchangeable, they were monotonous. None of them had anything to say or contribute to moving the story forward or to getting at what was the actual theme of the story. I felt like I was reading a play that was standing still while trying to move forward on an engine using water for gas.

Act II warranted such huge potential. It takes place 50 years later in 2009 when a White family purchases the Younger family house and wants to move into the neighborhood and tear it down in order to build a much larger unpermitted structure.  There is so much that Norris could have written about in this act, yet is misses its mark as well.  In my opinion, the reason is because the writer hasn’t committed to understanding the multifaceted issues of the times or both parties involved.  It’s not enough to simply be an excellent writer with a nack for brainy dialogue.  You have to have something to write about and you have to totally commit to comprehending the complexities of each side.  Only then can you write a story so compelling that you breathe life into the statement of each the characters.

Instead of tackling some existent contemporary social issues, Norris chose to write superficial dialogue about a White family planning on moving back into the Clybourne Park neighborhood.  What he doesn’t express is the underlining quandary as to why. What was their reason or game plan?  Was the draw low-cost housing and easier access to downtown businesses and other conveniences?   Was it their intent to take the neighborhood back?  What was the reason that they only discuss when they’re amongst themselves?  Again, I wanted to be a “fly on the wall.”  On the other hand, what he chose to concentrate on was the family vaguely negotiating with the neighborhood council regarding tearing down the Younger house and rebuilding a larger unpermitted structure.  Who cares? That’s not interesting because there are blatant issues regarding race and economics that are totally being ignored.

Interesting is the fact that they want to move back into an area which had experienced “White Flight.”  An area where Black folks have seemingly now control, yet the White folks don’t think the house, as is, is good enough for them.  They seem to feel that if they are to live amongst Blacks, they need to tear down the original structure and rebuild a much larger one so that it is more a resemblance of their lifestyle.

Missing is the entire issue of gentrification in which higher income people move back into urban neighborhoods, tear down old houses, build conglomerate structures and drive up property values; displacing poorer residents, many of them the elderly, who can’t afford the higher rents or an increase in their property taxes.  Unfortunately, all you get in Act II is more unnecessary banter and that problem is not addressed or resolved.

In this act, the characters again, are undeveloped, especially the two Black characters who, minus a few specific racial statements, can be interchangeable with the White ones.  They have nothing of significance to say other than they are protesting the height requirement of the proposed plans by the White family. There’s a reference to the same ole cliché about White people having Black friends and some dim-witted racial jokes that seem to be unnecessary and contrived.  It’s almost an act about words and sentences more than sustenance. The Black characters in particular have nothing of value to say specifically because the author doesn’t know how to write the sentiments of Black people. 

Norris attempted to make his Black characters appear articulate and White Collard by stating where they worked and that they had been to Europe, but he totally missed the essence of who they were, as well their spirit and undertones. It’s almost as if he wrote them as an after thought without any identity or clear concept. (It’s not enough to write words on a page and hope that the actor is supposed to make some sort of semblance to the meaning. Write what we say and feel and if you don’t know, then ask someone.)  Neither one of the characters had a definitive point of view or a clear and concise notion as to what they were fighting for; which was so disappointing.

There’s a sheer sense of arrogance that Black folks perceive regarding White folks moving into an area and automatically trying to take control. Some through lines could have been, “You moved out of the neighborhood when we moved in for fear of declining property values.  We’ve managed to keep it up and now because of the convenience of its location, you want to move back in.  Yet, it’s no longer good enough unless you can build a massive structure, live above us so you can look down on us as if we’re some sharecroppers.” That gives the play perspective, meat and a tangible place to go.

Lorraine Hansberry’s play was about the American dream and what that dream instinctively meant to a race of people who because of racism were disenfranchised.  It examines America’s complicated history of racial tensions between Blacks and Whites.  There’s a sense of darkness and despair as each character seems to be captivated and almost suffocated by their own circumstances.  In spite of that, there’s hope and so much passion engulfed in those characters that you get a sense of who they are, what they want out of life and what they’re fighting for.  In essence, you feel their pain and root for their success.

I feel like Clybourne Park was another knock off on our history that did not land.  I can only guess that the people who have raved about the writing of this play have not seen, read or fully comprehended the significance and meaning of A Raisin in the Sun.  There is no way to judge this play on its own merits without examining the sensibilities of its predecessor. It should never have been touted as a prequel and sequel to A Raisin in the Sun and if the author decided that was his intention, he should have done more research and stuck with the tone and integrity of Hansberry’s work. Otherwise just make it a play about a White family that sells its house to a Black family in the 1950’s and what happens 50 years later. Only then could it be judged on its own merit and not compared to such an iconic piece of literature and history.  By tying in Clybourne Park with A Raisin in the Sun, it simply falls way, way, way, too short.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Am I African American or Black?

On occasion I get upset at the mindset of African Americans and their disregard for all things African. I also have some concerns with denouncing the term “African American” as a viable means of identifying ourselves within the United States culture.

I was sitting with some friends and we began discussing the plight of African Americans in the country, but before we could get into an in debt conversation, one of my friends said, “I am not African American.  I’ve never been to Africa. I don’t have any intentions of going to Africa. Besides, they don’t like us anyway!”  My response was, “So what would you rather be called?”  “Black!” she responded.  I was perplexed because I thought that we had evolved in terms of our identity and to hear someone of African decent still vehemently refer to themselves as color of streets really bothered me.

In many ways our American identity has really been a detriment to our psyche. Wrapped up within the fibers of this society is an idea of beauty that permeates our very existence. That idea doesn’t look like us in some regards and exemplifies us in others. This leads many people of African decent (all over the world) to have a sort of distorted view of how they look and feel about themselves and their ancestry.

I was very lucky to grow up in a household where self image was very important.  I remember when Budweiser would post the great kings and queens of Africa in Ebony magazine.  My mother would make sure to cut them out and tape them to the walls of our kitchen.  It got to the point where I would look forward to each new picture, reading and rereading each one as if they were talking about me. In essence they were, because in those pictures, I realized that my history didn’t start in the United States. It started in Africa.  In those pictures I saw myself; strong, courageous, and dignified.

My mother would also make sure that every doll my sister owned was “Black”.  If a “Baby-That-Away” came on the market, my mother painstakingly searched every mall till she found the Black version.  My sister never owned a Barbie, but she did own Barbie’s Black friend, “Christie”.  If someone bought my sister a White doll, my mother immediately took it back to the store and exchanged it for a Black one.  Even I owned the Black version of GI Joe.  This wasn’t because she was trying to be militant or prejudicial.  It was because she recognized that a healthy self image is important.

If you consider yourself “Black”, Jamaican, Haitian, Brazilian, or Trinidadian, you can trace your roots back to Africa. Unfortunately many people of African descent don’t even realize it because they don’t know the origin of their history.  They don’t fully comprehend that the Atlantic slave trade went through the Americas, Europe and the Caribbean unloading African slaves.  Some, as in the Africans of the Caribbean, were able to hold on to many aspects of their culture.  Others, like the Africans of Brazil, acculturated into full fabric of their society.  While still others, like Africans from the United States, attempted to assimilate, but because of a constant ideology of perverse racism that has permeated every segment of our society from religion to entertainment, have had to struggle with self hatred and lack or identity.  What’s particularly disturbing is that we are all, through out the African Diasporas, blood related and connected through bondage.  The term “African” could be used to unite us all in terms of our relationship to each other and our connection to the motherland.

Scientist have hypothesized that Africa is the beginning of civilization.  Many of the world’s greatest and most essential inventions boast their origins from there.  Throughout history it has produced some to the greatest thinkers, built some of the most powerful nations, and boasted some of the most physically stunning people in the world. Ancient Greeks viewed Africans as exotic and celebrated them in all aspects of the arts. It has also been hypothesized that Greeks stole their philosophy, religion, and much of their culture from Africans.  That topic, however, has been much debated by Afrocentrist and classical historians.

I firmly believe African is our ethnicity, but American is our nationality.  Why is it that every other ethnicity can proudly claim who they are and yet it’s still difficult for African Americans?  If you asked Polish or Italians what is their nationality, they would definitely say, with pride, American.  However, Polish and Italian Americans still claim their native countries even if they don’t speak the language or have ever stepped foot on their ancestral shores.  The same goes for the Chinese, Japanese, Hispanics, Russian, or Portuguese.  (In California, I’ve seen hundreds of Mexican flags on cars, homes or being waved at protest rallies.)  Irish Americans celebrate their Irish ancestry every year during St. Patrick’s Day. Columbus Day is celebrated by Italian Americans.  Cinco de Mayo is hugely celebrated by Mexican Americans and Armenian Martyr’s Day is celebrated by Armenian Americans.  This doesn’t make them any less Americans, in fact, it celebrates the very ideal of this country being a “Melting Pot”.  The disconnect comes when African Americans only identify by the color Black.  It many regards, it’s just a direct opposition to the term White, but more importantly, it’s a serious implication that our history started in this country with slavery.

By the 1860’s there were approximately 4 million African slaves in the United States. Although it was one of the vilest institutions in our nation’s history, its tragedy is something that really needs to be explored and embraced by our community.  If Jews can transform the horrors of the Holocaust into a symbol of motivation in order to uplift their people, then we certainly can do the same with slavery.  It is off the backs, blood, sweat and tears of our ancestors that this country manifested its greatness.  We are derived from the strongest stock, both mentally and physically, and even the threat of death couldn’t keep our ancestors from reaching some of the greatest milestone the world has ever known.  All of which should be embraced as a form of inspiration and gratitude, not embarrassment.  In my opinion, there lies our disengagement with the term African.

Being from a people who were once enslaved in this country is nothing to be ashamed of.  Not only were Jews former slaves, but they were also subjected to a ghastly genocide by a group of people that wanted to annihilate them from the face of the planet.  Yet, despite their horrifying history, they understand its complexity. Therefore they’ve been able to turn their tragedy into a form of inspiration and achievement.  They’ve also, as a whole, never abandoned their ethnicity, even though during the Nazi era, it would have been practical to have done so.  The only major difference is that Jews can trace their ancestral origin.  African Americans, unfortunately, can not. 

Many Whites as well as other Africans and Arabs participated in the Atlantic slave trade.  Since they were outnumbered either on the ships or plantations, in order to protect themselves from uprisings, slave owners and overseers would separate African countrymen so that they didn’t speak the same language.  Once brought to the United States and sold throughout the South, the only common language most Africans had with each other was English. Therefore, without their native language most of their culture was lost as they intermingled with each other. Furthermore there was the threat of death if any of them attempted to learn to write, so without written language and others to talk to in their native languages, cultures were partially or completely eradicated after one or two generations. This happened throughout the African Slave Diaspora.  However, slaves within the Caribbean were able to keep hold of a large part their culture because there was a larger ratio between slaves and owners, therefore less of an intrusiveness on their established heritage. With that being said, even though Caribbeans were able to preserve a lot of their traditions and speech patterns, they are still a mixture of the different African tribes, thus loosing much of their language and consequently their defined ethnic identity.

Even the term “African” is not entirely correct because the continent was termed by Europeans.  The idea of being African is new to the people of Africa.  Most “Africans” identify themselves by their tribe or country; Kenyan, Ethiopian, Nigerian, Sudan, ect, and not the continent.  The word itself doesn’t really show the vast differences amongst the races of people that exist on the continent.  However, for African Americans, it’s the best we can do to identify our legacy.

Some may argue that to identify as African American is a constant reminder of a history lost.  Because we can only trace our history back to a continent; that has a myriad of nations with an even greater amount of tribes and dialects is not only preposterous, but painful.  What other group of people on the planet has had their history completely eradicated?  On the other hand, we have no choice but to accept that that is the case with us.  In the best regards, that is what makes us truly “African” because we are a mixture of different African tribes therefore making the term even more poignant in our uniqueness.

Part of the demise of African Americans comes from not fully embracing who we are and where we came from.  We are so focused on assimilation that we fail to recognize how we can further use our internal strength to continue to uplift our people.  Somehow, we think our successes are by accident and not internally designed and until we fully comprehend who we are, we will never claim our rightful place, here in our own country.

As Black Americans, our heritage begins with slavery, but as an African American, it begins with civilization.”  I’m an African who is a proud American.  I could care less what Africans born on the continent think of me.  And when I finally get to there, I will claim the soil and the richness of its being as my own.  I will cry and celebrate all the ancestors I’ve never known or because of colonialism, will never have a chance to discover.

I also claim this country.  I am entitled to every right and privilege afforded every American.  My ancestors built this country. They made it strong and if I did not claim myself an American, I would be negating everything they stood and died for.  I will proudly call myself an African American.  It is my birthright as well as the greatest honor I can give those that fought before me and those I teach in the present.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I Am Not Travon Martin: But You Could Be!

A young White girl recently created a video on YouTube titled; I AM NOT TRAYVON MARTIN (My thoughts on whiteness, privilege, and the activism in wake of Trayvon's murder.) The video has gone viral and everyone, including African Americans are championing her as if she what she’s said has some significant relevancy.  Here are my thoughts:

What is so insightful about what she’s saying? I’ll give her credit; she recited a well written and constructed essay.  However her naïveté is off point and I think people are getting caught up in the tone of her vernacular. Since the times of slavery sympathetic Whites have always stood along side African Americans as abolitionist and civil rights activist.  Why shouldn’t they, in this civil rights issue, show solidarity, wear a hoodie and say, "I too am Trayvon Martin?"

Her argument is that because of "White privilege" they will never know what true oppression is. I get it. But to say that they can't align themselves with the oppressed against the ideology of the oppressor is a bit immature.  There are many Whites who feel disgusted at the murder of Trayvon Martin and I think they recognize they don't have the same gut wrenching fears as other cultures.  However, when they wear the hoodie, they are, in a sense, rejecting “privilege” and expressing the mere fact that we are all human, and this tragedy, at its core, is a human rights violation.  What they are saying is that in this incident, the hoodie symbolizes our innate commonalities rather than our differences.

By saying Whites shouldn’t align themselves on the same level as African Americans and that they should fight this gross inequality from a position of power is rendering the solidarity method ineffective and powerless.  What she doesn’t understand is that the success of any movement that brings about change only happens when shared aims and compassions are in alignment.  Therefore to say they should not show solidarity is doing a disservice to all the countless Whites who have unselfishly and empathically given their lives to the fight for freedom, justice and everyone’s God given right to the pursuit of happiness. After all, showing the commonality within all human beings is way more powerful and meaningful than our social, economic and ethnic differences.

Some people may think that I’m missing her overall point. That what she is saying is that because of skin color and its underlined justification of racism, Whites can never be Trayvon Martin or his African American experiences.  Therefore, they should use their position in society to create real social change from a position of power.  However, I fully comprehend her point, on the other hand, I don't agree with her approach.  I think it’s unsubstantiated, and lacks a clear strategic focus.

If you stifle through her colloquial speech, her argument and supporting statements about why Whites should fight injustice from the standpoint of their own privilege, is inadequate.  It's just “feels good” words skillfully created, aimed at African Americans and Whites who vaguely understand the concept of “White privilege, wrapped up in a pretty little bow.  Her articulation is great and she delivers her speech in a rhythmic “sermonic” fashion.  (This, in part I think, is why African Americans gravitate to her delivery.  Lol.)  However, it misses the main reason why Whites and the hoodie issue is so important.

When Whites adorn a hoodie and pronounce, “They too are Trayvon Martin,” they are in a sense using their privilege to state that in spite of it, the death of one innocent human being intrinsically affects us all.  It’s an effective strategy where one can visualize the perpetrator, victim and the excessive use of power. It also states that the spirit, wants and needs, of every human being are universal.  That’s a powerful message.

Any movement throughout history that has ever endorsed real, significant change has done so by being on one accord and enacting a strategic strategy that emulates the overall objective.  There’s been different tactical methods, but one strong, common, ideology.  Activism based on White guilt is a tactic, but one which doesn’t cause people to align themselves into any type of valiancy.  It’s easy to try and effect change while you’re sitting on the hill.  It’s a lot harder, but more effective when you’re in the trenches.  In my humble opinion, the “hoodie” solidarity, is intrinsically better, more compassionate, and aids in the sentiment of everyone…all around the world.

With that being said, she delivered a very good meticulously sounding speech. I would have given her an "A" for delivery and a "B-" for content. I would not, on the other hand, get caught up in her vernacular.  If you believe that, then I bet she could emphatically sell you ice cubes in Antarctica.  Hell, if I had a few beers, she might even be able to sell me a few too.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Travon Martin: A Black Man's perspective on Race, Pride, and Community


As an African American male, I feel so connected with the Trayvon Martin case.  So much that the statement “There by the grace of God go I” really takes a significant and poignant precedence in my spirit.  Here was a kid who was walking home with a bag of Skittles and an iced tea.  He could have been any one of us.  He wasn’t trying to steal or hurt anyone, he was just trying to get to the people who knew and loved him most, and within the blink of an eye his life was robbed at gunpoint and the worst fears of any African American parent as well as the greater community materialized.

What goes beyond my rational comprehension is how any segment of our society could support Mr. Zimmerman (here forth called “the monster”) and his over zealous, irrational, racist, vigilantism.  Furthermore, how can anyone justify Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law in defense of this monster?

I don’t use the word “racist” often.  I feel that it has been misused and over saturated in our society and because of that, the meaning doesn’t carry the weight it should.  To be a racist is to hold prejudicial or bigoted views over someone and restrict them from something based on those views.  When one uses prejudged views to illicit power over another individual of a different race, religion, or creed, that person is a racist.  Therefore within this case, the monster used his prejudicial beliefs and alleged racial epithets (He used the word “coon.” However, he’s trying to say it was, “goon.”) to stalk, hunt, restrict and kill Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old African American young man, thus making the word “racist” an appropriate connotation in this instance.

Many states have some form of “Stand Your Ground” law. In many cases, it makes perfect sense. If someone breaks into your home while you’re asleep, you have every right to defend yourself and family, including the use of deadly force.  On the other hand, Florida has one of the worst interpretations of this law imaginable.  Under Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law, people have faced immunity and justified murder based on street brawls, road rage, bar fights, and even gang violence!  That’s ludicrous because lives are being lost and the only people winning in this situation are the gun companies that lobby for these types of laws in the first place.  They know that these laws increase their guns sales and they could care less about the moral character of the people using these absurd defenses. Those laws affect overall profits and that’s all that matters to gun companies.

With that being said, Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law should not apply to the monster in this case.  Trayvon was visiting his father and therefore a resident in that neighborhood.  Furthermore, he had every right as a citizen of this great country to walk unharmed whenever and where ever he pleased. He was not smoking weed, carrying a gun, crowbar, screwdriver or 40oz bottle of Old English.  He wasn’t wearing a doo rag, with oversized pants sagging, talking loud and using all sorts of profanity.  He was walking alone, after dark, having a conversation on his cell phone, minding his own business, in a neighborhood where he should have felt safe.  There is absolutely no reason, or probable cause for him to have been suspected of anything?

Florida’s biased law allows enormous leeway to use deadly force if one feels their life is threatened.  However, where in the law does it permit one to use racial epitaphs, provoke violence, and then apply deadly force in order to justify one’s actions?  That monster stalked, hunted, shot in the chest and killed an unarmed kid at point blank range without justification or provocation.  Trayvon did not initiate the confrontation. Even by him saying, “Why are you following me?!” does not evoke a legitimate and congruent defense.  That monster was told by authorities to stay in his car. Period. That’s why it’s called “Neighborhood Watch” and not “Neighborhood Kill.”  If that monster had listened to the commands of professionals, a young, innocent life would have been spared.  In laymen’s terms, based on this law, you can literally start a fist fight, then decide you’re done and shoot the person to get the confrontation over with. 

Many supporters of the monster don’t have an ounce of human empathy.  They freely use blogs, which renders them anonymous, to express their prejudicial viewpoints.  Even if this were an African American man who killed a White kid, their outrage should be the same. It’s about murdering an unarmed child and clearly recognizing that there’s a double standard in our country.  If the adult were African American and the kid was White, we’d see a completely different set of circumstances.  The African American adult would have immediately been arrested, held without bail and charged with First Degree Murder and the monster supporters would herald the justice system for doing their jobs.

Empathy is a quality that should align us as humans.  It should assist in building a thriving community by helping to understand what others are thinking, their motives, and why others strongly react to certain situations. Without the ability to consider other people’s feelings or points of views, we’re heading toward and antisocial and selfish society where the results will be widespread chaos, hatred and violence. 

It has been insinuated by the monster supporters that the attacked was provoked by Trayvon and that had he answered the monster’s questions and not been wearing the hoodie, he would be alive today.  Geraldo Rivera, a once well known and respected journalist, even stated the moronic “the hoodie” theory on a television news program.

First, we live in the United States of America and this is not 1792.  This “know your place” attitude is outdated and will not be tolerated. Trayvon had the right to walk anywhere he pleased without the threat of being harassed or interrogated.  When questioned by the monster, he was within his natural right as a citizen and human being to continue walking and choose not to answer.  He was also within his right to demand why he was being followed in the first place.  With that being said, if anyone had a right to use the “Stand Your Ground” law, it would have been Trayvon because he had a right to be where he was and he was under no law to give up ground to his assailant.

Most Whites will never know what it’s like to be followed based solely on the color of your skin.  It’s insulting when someone attempts to rob you of your dignity and self respect.  It’s infuriating when someone automatically assumes the worst of who you are based solely on your skin color.  I’ve had it happen to me on several occasions and each time I’ve challenged the observer to look beyond their stereotypical mindset and find a trace of humanity in their being. (Sometimes, depending on my mood and the blatancy of the observer, the manner and terms of which I choose to confront the person is not so philosophical.)  It’s creepy, it’s not right or legal and it doesn’t feel good.  So, I don’t blame Trayvon for confronting the monster. I and many African American men I know would definitely have done the same thing.  The only difference is I would have used the “f” word in my statement to the monster.  At least Trayvon left it out.

My most perplexed question is, “Since when has wearing a sweat shirt with a hood (hoodie) become gang attire?” I would venture to say that most active men have at least one hooded sweatshirt in their arsenal of clothing. What? Do hoodies somehow transform themselves into one thing when African Americans wear them and something else when Whites wear them? I love hoodies; especially since I have a bald head.  I can wear them at night and not have to worry about a hat.  Sometimes I even wear mine to bed!  That way I don’t have to put the covers over my head and almost suffocate in an attempt to keep my head warm. They’re convenient, can be very fashionable, and they keep your head comfortable. Do I now have the added pressure of worrying that I might be mistaken for a gangster simply because I choose to wear a hoodie?  Should White folks have that same fear? Really?

Geraldo Rivera is the biggest moron of them all for even insinuating that had Trayvon not been wearing the hoodie, he’d be alive today.  Being Hispanic, he should viscerally understand racial profiling in its most miniscule form.  Just because he’s rich and accepted in many affluent White circles, doesn’t make him immune or less of a target.  It is idiotic to spread that mode of thinking. Assimilation to an irrational thought doesn’t make one any more endearing. To be honest, it becomes the brunt of jokes by the very people one is trying to impress. What should Trayvon have done? Was he supposed to disrobe in the presence of a perceived White neighborhood? Geraldo’s statement showed a lack of integrity, consideration, and professionalism.

As far as the rest of the media has been concerned (particularly FOX), I believe they have been absolutely irresponsible in their reports that Trayvon was suspended for having an “empty” weed bag.  First, he’s a juvenile and his school records should have been off limits.  Even if they were offered to the media, the media should have unequivocally refused them.  Furthermore, what does having an empty baggie that smelled like weed have anything to do with his murder?  I understand the defense’s position on smearing the victim, but for the life of me, I will never understand sudo-journalism. Many, many great young people, including myself, and probably the very people reporting those stories, have tried weed in high school or college.  I’m not proud of it, wished I hadn’t done it, mainly because I now know the affects it has on the developing brain.  However, that doesn’t deem me a criminal or a deviant; and the fact still remains, he was suspended for having a baggie, not smoking weed.  By all accounts, he was a pretty normal kid who’d make a few mistakes, but had loving parents who were supportive and caring.

In addition, many monster supporters use the fact that the monster had a broken nose and a blow to the back of his head as basis for why deadly force was necessary.  Somehow these new allegations are supposed to be a game changer for the defense.  Again, ludicrous ideology because; what is a person to do if they are stalked, hunted, approached, and attacked?  What would you do under the same circumstances? What would you tell your child to do at the threat of eminent danger? Everyone, regardless of race, has the right to vehemently fight for their life when there’s an attempt on it being taken. It’s a naturalize right of any living creature.

It shouldn’t matter if that monster’s face looked like freshly ground hamburger meat minutes after the police arrived.  That has no bearing on this case.  Trayvon Martin was viciously attacked and he uncompromisingly fought for his life till his last ounce of breath.  His horrifying cries for help, which can be heard on the 911 tape of a woman who was in her house with the door and windows closed, were unanswered by an entire neighborhood who didn’t have the decency to intervene or become involved. Even a simple, “Hey, what’s going on?” might have saved this young man’s life.  At the very least, the monster would have known he was being watched and may have thought twice about his actions. (Incidentally, the fact that that monster lied and said he was the one that can be heard crying for help on the 911 tapes says a lot about his character and morality. He was probably told to lie by his retired judge of a father who knew that had those screams been his, they would be the only thing that would justify a “Stand Your Ground” defense.)

Again, what would you do if someone approached you with the intent to harass or murder you? Even if at some point during Trayvon’s struggle for his life, he managed to get the upper hand, does that justify his murder? Particularly when he was within his given right to “Stand HIS Ground,” fight back, and use any means necessary to preserve his life.  What goes into the mindset of a segment of society that fault victims for defending themselves in order to justify an incomprehensible act?

Moreover, I’ve heard mention that since Trayvon was 6’3” he was most likely construed as an adult. Again, that doesn’t have anything to do with this case.  Trayvon weighed between 140-150 pounds!  Any rational person knows how scrawny that is.  To put this into perspective, I am 6’ and weigh 180 pounds.  Although I’m not small, no one would ever mistake me for a body builder.  That monster was nearly 250 pounds at the time of the murder!  He outweighed Trayvon by almost 100 pounds.  No matter how tall Trayvon was, that monster would have easily been able to over take him by sheer mass and strength.

What has become extremely apparent in recent photos of the monster is that he has been losing weight.  Whether intentional or unintentional, this is yet another ploy for the monster to appear sympathetic to his supporters, the media, and ultimately the jurors.  It will definitely become important as the case moves forward through to trial if he continues to shed the pounds.  The reason being is because at the time of the incident, as previously mentioned, the monster, though much shorter, significantly outweighed Trayvon.  By outweighing him, one can easily see how menacing and physically intimidating he can be; especially in the dark.  If he loses those pounds, which he’s obviously doing, he looks less intimidating. I’m sure the defense will use his new “thinner” frame as a visual comparison to Trayvon at the time of his death.  Hopefully special prosecutor Angela Corey and her team have taken a close, full bodied picture of the monster at the time of the murder because a shrunken monster is visually very powerful and could be helpful in his defense. On the other hand, the prosecution can show that this is yet another ploy for the defendant to appear much smaller in an attempt to garner sympathy from the court.

There’s an innate instinct to want to preserve one’s life. Trayvon fought for his life on a dark street where there was no one to protect him and I am humbled and proud of him for doing so.  He gave up his life for the right to his dignity and honor.  He stood steadfast in the face of hatred and although his life was taken, it was not lost in vain.  The fact that he fought back is inspirational and it puts all racist and bigots on notice that we are men, and we are not going to be slaughtered in the streets like animals without a fight.  We will forever retain our self respect at all cost. Period.

This should be an open and shut case.  However, there are many on both sides that believe the second degree murder charge set forth by the district attorney is extreme and will not stick.  They think a lesser charge of manslaughter would have been more viable and appropriate. But the monster intentionally killed a kid!  He shot himself out of a brawl that he provoked. He created the deadly situation for the murder to take place. That’s murder two! If he’d gotten up in the morning and said, “I’m going to kill a Black kid today,” that would be murder one.  If he’d had a fight with Trayvon and accidently killed him, that would be manslaughter.  In this particular case, second degree murder is the appropriate charge.  Whether he is convicted of that charge is a completely different matter.  However, I don’t believe the DA purposefully charged him with murder two under the pretenses of getting him off because she knows those charges won’t stick.  It was appropriate and hopefully she will get a conviction.

Because this is such a racially charged case, many people feel that the issue of race should not be a factor. In spite of those sentiments, this was a hate crime and race was definitely a motive.  Trayvon wasn’t targeted in spite of his race; he was targeted because of it and thus doing so, actualized the worst nightmares of most African American communities and mobilized many people of all ethnicities.

Most African American parents teach their sons to walk and not run in the presence of authority.  They teach us to be respectful, and most importantly, to show our hands, at all times, when stopped by the police or anyone with perceived power.  It is an important survival “talk” that’s meant to keep us safe.  We are taught to understand the fear of police officers and their unwavering regard to lump every African American male into one stereotyping category.  Therefore regardless of our achievements, economic status, neighborhoods, or upbringing, most of us are very cognizant of who we are and more importantly, who we are perceived to be.  I could be wrong, but I don’t think White parents have the same “talk” with their male children.  In fact, I would infer they probably teach them that they don’t have to fear anything, especially police or anyone of authority because in most cases that authority looks like them or have assimilated to their way of thinking.

When narrowed down to its lowest denominator, Trayvon was killed specifically because he was an African American kid in the right place, at the wrong time.  Had he been White, there wouldn’t have been a 911 call and Trayvon would have made it home safely.  In fact, the monster may have even struck up a friendly conversation with him and if he followed him, it would have only been to insure his protection. 

Supporters of the monster would also have everyone believe that this couldn’t have been a hate crime because he strategically switched from being White to Hispanic and most recently from Hispanic to Hispanic with a bit of African ancestry. As if being a person of color somehow makes him exempt from harboring inherent racist attitudes.  That is a tactical ploy to smoke screen the issue.

Although every race has its propensity to be discriminatory, I want to make something clear, I’m going to be completely honest and my intent is not to offend anyone.  With that being said, Hispanics have just as much proclivity to assimilate racist behaviors as any other group.  In fact, Hispanic male gang members have been targeting and killing African Americans for several years in an effort to ethnically cleanse their neighborhoods.  Unfortunately no one is fervently talking about it or telling the truth.  The printed media is riddled with African Americans being gunned down by Hispanics seeking gang initiation or bragging rights.  Hispanic gang leaders have even instructed foot soldiers on how to efficiently hunt and kill innocent African Americans; their motives, in these instances, being nothing more than race.

Some semi-invested community organizations are lightly discussing the issue by holding half hearted meetings about bridging the gap between African American and the Hispanic communities, but no one has the courage to articulate the real problems.  We have somehow become a society where politically correctness has taken precedent over what’s really taking place in communities all across the country.  This has weakened our ability to speak honestly about the problems that are plaguing communities were African Americans and Hispanics live and congregate.  Most so-called leaders won’t even put the issue on their agenda for fear it’s not kosher or doesn’t forward their dossier of obtaining or maintaining the African American and/or Hispanic constituency.

Even Mexican president, Vicente Fox, has made comments with serious racial undertones regarding African Americans by stating to a group of Texas businessmen that, “There is no doubt that Mexicans, filled with dignity, willingness and ability to work, are doing jobs that not even blacks want to do there in the United States.”  He later apologized, but then within the same year the Mexican government issued a series of 5 postage stamps depicting a derogatory black cartoon character known as Menin Pinguin.  The popular character in Mexican comic books is drawn with exaggerated features, thick lips and wide open eyes.  The boy’s apelike appearance, speech and mannerisms are the topic of mockery by the White characters in the comic book!

Something clearly has to be done about bridging the perceptual gap between both communities.  In many places across the country we occupy the same neighborhoods.  Our children go to the same schools, libraries and stores.  It’s simply foolish to fight for crumbs if and when the ruling establishment decides it’s in their best interest to dole out.  Only when both communities are honest, able to speak freely and break down the barriers of discord and mistrust, will changes have opportunities to manifest themselves. We have influence each other’s cultures in so many ways, both in this country and abroad, but we will never get to the beauty of our commonalities unless we break down all the misconceptions, miscommunications and misunderstandings. 

With that being said, we have to prevent strategy from deflecting from what’s really important and focus on the actual issues.  If we don’t, then both communities will continue to be misinformed, miseducated and killed in the streets either by ourselves, each other, or any other ethnicity that harbors hatred towards both groups. At the very least we need to stop fighting each other and concentrate on the larger issues affecting our communities and this country.

What’s most shocking comes from monster supporter Chris Francescani.  In a recent article he writes, “The 28-year-old insurance-fraud investigator comes from a deeply Catholic background and was taught in his early years to do right by those less fortunate.” That sound great, but I think he forgot to ask the monster if he listened. It’s obvious that he didn’t because nothing in his article mentions what he did for the “less fortunate” in his adult life.  It mentions he was an alter boy and a selfless Spanish translator for his middle school.  Wow!  I’m impressed.  I’m sure since he spent a lot of time in church he was taught plenty of great Christian principles. Did he learn, “love thy neighbor as thyself”?  Or “But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you.”  How about, “Thou shall not kill”?!  Those are the one I learned growing up in my grandfather’s church.  They’ve always been helpful to me as I navigate through life.  I don’t think they did much for the monster though.  Maybe he still hadn’t gotten to those principles yet.  Hopefully in jail he’ll have more time.

What’s pretty pathetic is Francescani’s attempt to deflate the race debate by mentioning that the monster had a failed business venture with an African American (That’s like a White person saying, “I’m not racist, I have a Black friend.”) and the “dark family secret” of his great grandfather being Afro-Peruvian.  As if Blacks folks are supposed to go, “Oh, wait…he’s not a racist.  His great grandfather was Black!”  And everyone is supposed to then close their mouths, bow their heads and slowly walk away. I don’t think so! I would bet that a month ago, the monster had never met, seen, or even heard about his African roots.  For all intents and purposes the monster was White up until a few months ago.  At the very least, he was a light skinned Hispanic who, in some cases, feels they are accepted by the larger White community anyway.  At any rate, this is pretty much a last ditch effort to save his life by the defense.  Too bad Trayvon was never afforded the same calculations.

Trayvon’s untimely death speaks to me and should speak to all people of African decent in this country.  It’s a “wake up call” that says although we live in the greatest country on the planet, there are still issues of race that we must deal with head on.  The reality is; we can’t change the frame of mind or intellect of a segment of our society that ignorantly demonizes and fears us. These people will always consistently create rules of law and systematic view points that are conveniently concealed in how society runs our daily lives. They are purposefully and masterfully created to undermine our confidence and keep us misinformed, fighting amongst each other, and ultimately free labor behind bars. 

Deep down inside this segment knows the true about us, but they also know that we buy into their theory of self hatred, thus negating what’s really true, because it doesn’t matter.  That’s the genius of their lie and why they continue the facade.  Truth doesn’t matter if we buy into the festering sores that bind our people and hold us hostage with silence.

Our community needs to be passionately cultured, prepared, proactive and once again unified. We need to continue the drive for education, pride, and a sense of communal legacy as if our lives depended on it, because in essence, they do.  As men, we are the pulse and strength of a village that depends on us for guidance.  No longer can we support the negative stereotypes that we often bring upon ourselves through words, expressions and actions, thus allowing other groups to give reason for our words, their hatred and actions against us.  No longer can we support deviant behavior of any kind, no matter what the excuse or cost or challenge.  No longer should we support radio, television, or print media that degrade our people for money with their offensive music, photographs or commentary and simultaneously don’t bring any intrinsic value to our consciousness or images. No longer can we afford to become the Joe Olivers of our community.

When I think of the name “Joe Oliver,” it becomes synonymous with the term “Sell Out.” (Many people might use “Uncle Tom.”  However, I don’t think that’s a fair assessment because the original Uncle Tom from Harriet Beecher Stowe’s 1851 novel, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, was written in an attempt to be a rejection of the existing stereotypes of the time. In the novel, the Uncle Tom character was a virile man of great power and strong moral and religious character. He was very different from the minstrel adaptations, often performed by White men in black face, which in most cases portrayed him as shiftless, ignorant, apologetic, and proslavery.)  Here’s an African American man who has the audacity to make the media rounds claiming to be a friend of the monster.

Now, by all means, if this man were truly a friend then I wouldn’t have a “leg to stand on.”  If they had a long standing rapport that was based on mutual understanding and congenial respect, who would I be to judge? If they supported each other socially and emotionally while sharing life experiences, aspirations and goals, then I would be completely wrong in my condemnation. Yet by all accounts, this man was little more or less of an acquaintance to the monster.  Saying a few sentences to someone in a work environment or social gathering doesn’t give you the authority to comment on their emotional state at a time of crisis.  In spite of this, he has gone on every major news channel and discussed the monster’s emotional state and character, as well as defended allegations of racism, yet he hardly knows him from a “hole in the wall.”

Joe Oliver has become the “Black Face” (pun intended) of the monster cause.  This former CNN news anchor seems as if he’ll try anything, including quit his current job in the loan industry, to get back in the limelight. He’s already admitted that he hadn’t been in contact with the monster for over a month after the murder took place.  He even had the audacity to say his support for the monster was based on a “gut feeling.” Seriously?! I would like to know if his “gut” knew of the monster’s three prior arrest for violent offences.  What about the monster being fired from an “under the table” job as a bouncer/security guard because he couldn’t control his inappropriate aggressive behavior? How about the 46 times he called 911 over the past two years while performing his neighborhood watch “Captain” duties or about the fact that it was against neighborhood watch regulations to carry a gun while on patrol?  But, the most pressing question is; how are you paying your bills while making the media rounds performing your minstrel show?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
In this current economy, I wouldn’t quit my job for some of my best friends!  I love my friends dearly and I wouldn’t abandon them, but I would take all interviews after work or on the weekends.   If I had to fly to Atlanta for an interview, I’d make sure I had some vacation time or I’d suddenly develop the flu.  At the very least, I’d take a leave of absence.  But I, by no stretch of the imagination, would quit my job, unless I had some money coming in from somewhere…or I was independently wealthy.  Where is this man’s current income coming from?  If we were to dig deep enough, would it lead back to the monster’s lair?

No amount of money would be enough for me to sell my soul.  Even if my best friend murdered a kid of a different ethnicity, I would not compromise my integrity for notoriety or money.  I owe that to my upbringing, community and self respect.  I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I violated my core values.  How this man allows himself to be exploited because of his race is beyond my comprehension and should be beyond the comprehension of any rational forward thinking person.  It’s deplorable and I hope he doesn’t think as a consequence for his “altruistic” backing, he might one day see his glory days of being back in the line up of primetime news. 

News anchors are personalities the public trust.  They have the perception of being nonbiased and individuals who refuse to be corrupted. Mr. Oliver has already proven he’s not trustworthy by selling out himself and surprisingly his family.  On the contrary, FOX News might be just where he ends up.  I just hope he has good moisturizer because that black grease paint can wreck havoc on the skin.

People should defy their community when the notion for what’s right is more prevalent.  There are many valiant people who defied their ethnicities in order to sort out justice; Oskar Schindler, Abraham Lincoln, Quincy Adams, Benjamin Franklin, William Garrison, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Bobby Green, Titus Murphy, Terry Barnett and Lei Yuille, to name a few.  However, it’s something else when you allow yourself to be manipulated with the hopes of personal gain. It’s like the field slave who runs and tells his master of an escape plot with hopes of being “promoted” to the big house.  The master thwarts the escape, severely punishes the escapees and promotes the slave, but in the end, when it’s all said and done, the slave is still a slave.  He may have better food and a few more tattered clothing, but he’s no more free to walk the Earth than he was prior to his snitching.

One of the most powerful lessons I have learned from the murder of Trayvon Martin is; an unfathomable belief in the fact that this is our country too.  We are not long term visitors or resident aliens!  We have every right to believe in the phrase, “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness” because our ancestors literally fought for it.  Off the blood, sweat and tears of our predecessors, this country was built and has thrived into a symbol of hope and prosperity. We deserve and should continue to demand all the rights and privileges of this great nation, including taking stock in its well being and ownership.  We need to become inspired by our legacy and stop feeling sorry or ashamed about the way we got here and start looking at all we’ve done and influenced in the time we’ve been here.  Only then will we become the indestructible force God intended us to be; limited only by what we are incapable of seeing or imagining. 

Trayvon Martin’s death was not unlike many other countless African American males who have been victimized by savages whose true intent was to emasculate and demoralize. His death really hits home for me because it reminds me that there are still people in the world that believe my life doesn’t matter and it is up to me to continue to prove to myself that it does.  Trayvon proved that his life mattered…and that resonates in my spirit.  Out there all alone, in the dark of night, with no one to help him, he gave his life to prove to himself and the world that it meant something. That resounds in me and I will forever be affected.

What happened to that young man was ethically wrong and should never happen to any kid, regardless of race.  If you factor race out of the equation, the facts still remain the same. A kid was unjustly confronted, attacked and murdered and I would advise every, African American, White, Hispanic, Asian or Native American who believes in the righteousness for the innocent to “Stand Your Ground” in solidarity for justice.  The principals of law and order in a civilized society speak for themselves.  In many cases, fairness in regards to African Americans and people of color have not always been fair, but I believe we are about to change that collectively. 

I don’t condone what the Black Panther Party referenced regarding the bounty on the capture of the monster.  Nor do I condone Spike Lee’s miscalculated tweet of the monster’s address.  I feel his actions were irresponsible.  On the other hand, I definitely understand the helplessness we feel as a community…as we remember the times waiting for justice…thousands dead…most are forgotten…most were alone…in the dark of night…tormentors free…to live…and kill again…but we patiently wait…for justice…another time…we patiently wait…that makes me very afraid, if the outcome of this trial, does not end in a definitive second degree murder conviction.